


Things Found in the Tampon Aisle

by FridayFirefly



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Is Not Ladybug, Meet-Cute, kind of a crack fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29801871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FridayFirefly/pseuds/FridayFirefly
Summary: Dick's first time in the tampon aisle of his local grocery store contains a surprise that not even the world's greatest detective could have predicted.
Relationships: Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Dick Grayson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 153





	Things Found in the Tampon Aisle

It was Dick's first time in the tampon aisle, and he was entirely lost. Cass had sent him to the store to buy chocolate and tampons, but he left his phone at home, which was the reason that he was standing in the middle of the tampon aisle, staring blankly at the wall of tampon boxes, with no clue in the world what kind to buy. 

A girl pushing a cart walked down the aisle towards him, typing away at her phone. She was his age, probably also in college, and also probably with some knowledge of how tampons worked.

"Excuse me," Dick ventured.

She looked up at him, her stormy blue eyes focusing on him. "Yes?" Her accent was just slightly French, enough that Dick knew that she wasn't a native English speaker, but not enough that he could pinpoint exactly where she came from.

"My sister sent me to the store to buy tampons, but I left my phone at home and so I can't ask her what kind she wants. I thought I could just wing it but there are just way too many options. I was just wondering, would you have any idea...?"

The girl gave him a bemused look. "I wouldn't happen to know her exact tampon preference, but your best bet would probably be..." She scanned the wall for a moment before grabbing a box and handing it to him. "These."

"Thanks. I was worried that I'd buy something completely wrong, and I'd have to come all the way back to the store to get ones that would work."

"No problem."

"Question number two: why are there so many different types of tampons? How many different versions does a woman need?"

The girl shrugged, still smiling. "Every vagina is different. Different vaginas need different menstrual products."

"Okay, thank you for answering my weird and mildly invasive questions. Question number three: why are they so expensive, if they're a necessity?"

"Ugh. Don't get me started. It's so stupid, how expensive they are, especially since getting your period isn't a choice." Her face brightened up for a moment. "I just realized that we haven't even introduced ourselves yet. I'm Marinette."

"Dick, short for Richard. Or, if you're my brothers, it's short for 'quit being such a dick'."

Marinette laughed. "Your brothers sound interesting. How many do you have?"

Dick sighed. "Three. I love them, but they drive me crazy sometimes."

"I never had any siblings, but I had some crazy friends in high school. We would sneak out at night and roam the city - it's a miracle none of us got killed."

"So you have a dangerous side."

"I wouldn't call it a dangerous side," Marinette giggled. "It was just a little bit of teenage rebellion."

"How about I walk with you while you finish your shopping, and you can tell me more about your teenage rebellion antics."

Marinette smiled at him as they started to walk down the aisles. "Okay, so in middle school, I had this really tight group of friends. We hung out all the time. The only problem was that Adrien's Dad was kind of a bastard, so we had to be sneaky with our fun. That led to us sneaking out every night to mess around in the streets of Paris under the cover of darkness."

"That seems a little dangerous for middle schoolers."

Marinette laughed at Dick's comment. "Just you wait, it gets worse. When we were fourteen, Adrien got really into parkour, so we had the brilliant idea to practice parkour on the rooftops at night. I rolled my ankle three or four times and bruised a few ribs, but I came out of the experience mostly unscathed, with a newfound appreciation for the balconies of Paris."

Dick's eyes widened as she told her story. "I must admit, I expected something a little tamer. Like sneaking out to drink in the park, not parkour on the rooftops." Marinette's story sounded a lot like the kind of thing that _his_ family would do, and that was really saying something.

Marinette blushed, grabbing a box of farfalle pasta off the shelf. "We were thirteen and thought we were invincible. It was fun while it lasted. All I get out of it now is that I use it as my icebreaker when I have to tell people about myself. People are always impressed by extreme parkour."

"I'll bet." Dick and Marinette got to the checkout line. With his two purchases - tampons and dark chocolate - Dick went first.

Then went Marinette, with her cart full of groceries. One the cashier finished bagging them and Marinette finished paying, she glanced over the receipt. "Oh, I think you forgot to scan the milk." She handed the receipt over for the cashier to check, then paid for her milk, all the while the cashier thanked her.

"It's no problem," Marinette assured the cashier.

Dick was surprised. Most people got excited when the checkout clerk forgot to scan something, but Marinette instead checked herself to make sure she had paid for everything.

Once Marinette and Dick made it out the doors of the grocery store, Marinette turned to him. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Dick."

Dick saw his opportunity and took it. "Could I give you my number, and we could maybe meet up sometime?"

"Sure." Marinette smiled as she wrote her number down on the back of Dick's receipt. "I just moved into a new apartment last week, so I'm a little busy right now, but we should definitely meet up again."

"See you soon," said Dick as she went her separate way. He wasn't going to forget Marinette any time soon. Athletic, trained in jumping from rooftop to rooftop, strong moral compass - Marinette fit all the boxes of a bat. She even had the black hair and blue eyes that his family was known for. _Now all I have to do is figure out a way to tell Bruce that he's adopting another daughter._


End file.
